The name of the game is clicking, it's as simple as that.

When you enter the game proper, you will be presented with a gurt giant fat blinking pig head. When you are ready to go, press 'start' - a clock will count you in and the clicking will begin.

You will have a total of 30 seconds to click on the pig's head as many times as your arms - and mouse - will allow.

As you click on through, you will be notified of specific milestones by piggy grunt noises. These include reaching 100 clicks, 150 clicks, etc., as well as your special 'celebrity pig' status. Also, nearing the end of your time an alert will sound when you reach the 5 second mark, reminding you to get that final few clicks in before the porcine fun ends.

When the bell rings, you will be given a report card with your final total and confirmation of your celebrity status. You can submit your final score to be in with the chance of winning some fucking prize or other.

There are no winners yet, but this'll be where they'll be posted. What do you win? Fuck knows. Mad props? We'll decide on it later (probably t shirts and badges and shit like that). There will be three winners...

1) Highest click score
2) Best nomination for a new pig
3) Somebody picked at random

Because of this, you'll be needing to put in a working email address. isn't going to work, is it now?

We'll do a fresh round of piggy bastard celebs on each new episode of DRILL BOY. So if you want to keep tabs on every time there's a new compo starting go here.

*** We accept no liability for causing offence through either the language or images contained within this magnificent presentation. It is assumed that by being here you have some form of sense of humour. If you don't or you are unsure, please get tae fuck. ***

*** All images are retrieved from the web and thus thought of to be part of the public domain. In the case of error, please contact us and we will remove the image in question, easy. ***

*** We accept no responsibility for injury (mental or physical) brought about through playing this game. We'd rather avoid hefty lawsuits arising from something that is meant to be fun and funny. And yes, that includes Repetitive Strain Injury borne through clicking off more than you can chew. ***

*** Judges decision is final and all that usual stuff. ***

Hardly what you'd call water-tight, but then it can pretty much be summed up in one phrase: don't be a twat about it.

Think someone will like this weird shit as much as you? Want to annoy beyond the realms of what is considered socially acceptable? Of course you do! If you can remember your own name, stick it in the top field. The second one you want to fill with that address that you usually use to sign up for gay porn listings...


© D Davies & J Harper 2009